The Right and Wrong of Shutters...Who Knew?!

Hello.

 

Let's talk shutters...

 

So, one of the long, ongoing projects we've had going on around here is our DIY Board and Batten shutters for the exterior of the Farmhouse.  We decided to make our own shutters, as opposed to premade, for three reasons:
                   

  1. We could customize the size and color to exactly what we wanted

  2.  Bragging rights (high on my list of favorite things)

  3.  Premade shutters cost the equivalent of a semester at Harvard.

So, yeah, we chose to stay with the theme of this whole Farmhouse project, and decided on the DIY, less expensive (yet just as well made) option of making our own.  During the process of researching how to make shutters, shutter hardware, good color choices, and the proper way to attach them to the house, I learned a few things, the most important being...

ALWAYS, I repeat ALWAYS, make sure that shutters look as if they are fully functioning, even if they are as useless as your appendix, male nipples, and the entire Kardashian family.

Got that???

It's a big deal people.

This point was stressed in every single article I read about shutters...and yes, I read a lot of articles about shutters....mainly articles published in This Old House journals and historical architecture websites created by guys named Stuart or Arthur or Eugene who never bothered to give dating a chance. So, in order to ensure that their decades of lonely Saturday nights weren't all for naught, I shall pass on to you a few tidbits that I learned from their words of wisdom...wisdom about shutters...


 Shutters should never be taller, or wider than the area they would intend to cover if they were indeed, functioning shutters. The area they are to cover is the glass portion of the window, inside the casing. For example, if you have a window that is 50 inches high and 40 inches wide, each of your shutters should be 50 inches tall and 20 inches wide, so that if they were to close shut, they would meet in the center of the window and could be latched.  You should resist the urge to screw them directly to the side of your house, and instead, shell out a few bucks for some pretty hardware and mount them the proper way. Doing this will not only add interest to your windows with the hardware accents, but a properly hung shutter should mount on top of the casing and then open back towards the façade, thus creating shadow lines.

photo from www.larsonshutter.com

See how pretty ?

...and this one ...

photo from www.arcat.com

..and one last pretty one...

Just like trying to justify that pair of sassy heels that are 2 sizes too small, or squeezing into that pair of jeans from high school, you must not attempt to fudge the measurements just to make them work....  Trust me, your shutters will look so much better if your measurements are accurate.

...and your old high school jeans aren't going to fit, so stop contemplating buying Spanx, and go buy yoga pants instead.


Bad Shutters

Shutters that way too big for the size of the window...

And some that are way too small...

Photo from  www.oldhouseguy.com

Wrong shape... if they closed these, the arches would be the wrong way...

photo from www.oldhouseguy.com

And what the hell?!?!

photo courtesy of Bob Borson Life of an Architect

 

I was tempted to provide some pictures of my own, but I live in a small town and in case someone recognized their house, well, I didn't want to offend.

 

Nobody's perfect.

 

But please...don't put shutters on either side of a storm door, a bay window, or your garage doors...

 

...please, for the sake of all things good, just don't.

 

Anyways, after absorbing all this exciting information, I set out on a journey to Lowes.  First, I took down all my measurements for all 14 pairs of shutters we will need on this house.

 

Yes, 14.

 

And then we were on our way.  I packed up the girls, a boatload of diapers for Olive, about 12 Ziploc baggies full of snacks and we headed to the land of lumber.  I walked in like I owned the place, found a nice employee who, although he looked at the ground when he spoke, did seem to know a thing or two about lumber, so I handed him my list and we hit the wood aisle.  After watching Brad (I can't remember his name but Brad seems fitting) tell the floor about which types of wood were best and why, we decided on Cedar.  We spent about 20 minutes picking out the best boards from their supply of 1x4x12's and then I smiled and said "Brad, do you mind cutting all these for me?" 

 

 I had secretly hoped to get a look of anguish from him....

 

...because I'm just a little bit evil...

 

...but instead he looked off into the distance and said "no problem!  let's walk over to the cutting area."

 

So, away we went...

 

 

 

Brad loaded the wood into a pile and began making cuts... then more cuts... then Olive pooped so we went to the restroom...then more cuts....then we went and looked at lighting....then more cuts... then we left again to go look at countertops....more cuts....then Poop #2 ...then more cuts...

 

...you get the idea...

 

 

Once all the cuts were made, we went and checked out. Our total came to about $217.00. Not too shabby for 14 sets of shutters.  Considering premade pairs are about $50 each and up from there for custom sizes, I'll take the $217 total any day.  We headed home and unloaded our bounty....

 

 

We wanted Board and Batten style with very tiny spaces in between the boards just to give them a little more interest.  My husband being the handy guy he is, found a scrap piece of wire and cut it into small pieces to act as spacers in between the boards...

 

 

No, those are not Red Vines...

 

 

I will post a "How-To" follow up, later on after all the shutters are put together, primed and painted...

 

(they will be Sherwin Williams Thunder Gray by the way)

 

 

 

(It's a pretty, smoky grayish brownish color.  Should look snazzy)

 

...but this is what we've got so far...

 

 

Now 27 more to go and we'll be ready to paint!

 

I wish I liked wood tone more...

 

 

 

:) Ashley

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



A Sick Day for Lucy McGee

Hello friends.

 

So yesterday was an eventful morning here at Arachnids R' Us...

 

 First, I woke up with what can only be described as some sort of Black Plague.  My face was packed with germs and gunk causing my head to feel like it was going to blow out the top like fireworks on the Fourth.  It's ok though...I've woken up sicker than that before and still managed to function at a half human/half droid level.  Shortly after I awoke, my children arose from their sweet slumber, ambled down the stairs, made their way in to our bed, and as usual, squeezed me out.  I took the hint, rolled myself off the mattress and zombie-walked my mucous-infested self to the bathroom in an attempt to steam clean the germs out of my brain.

 

...I'm not shocked to say, it didn't work...

 

So, I popped an Excedrin Migraine for the pressure, splashed some cold water on my face, and got to my usual morning Mommy duties.  I made coffee, started the dishwasher, and since it's been just short of 7 months since I've gone grocery shopping, I reached blindly into the dark, back corners of the pantry in hopes of fishing out some sort of breakfast for my two little ones.  Two packets of Oatmeal, perfect. Never goes bad... 

 

I prepared the Quaker, served it up to my two little ravenous bundles of joy, and slunk down into one of the dining chairs with my cup of coffee and box of tissues.  They were enjoying their warm oatmeal-y goodness until I heard it....

 

...that awkward sound of a child vomiting up their oatmeal...

...ugh, not today...

 

It's never fun when your kid gets sick, but it's even less fun when it totally sneaks up on them, and you.  At least when your kid starts slowly exhibiting the signs of an upcoming pandemic, you have a little time to prepare your D-Day checklist:

 

• Kleenex
• Children's Tylenol
• De-humidifier
• Humidifier
• Cold packs
• Hot compress
• Soda Crackers
• 7-Up
• Orange Juice
• a collection of Disney movies
• Pepto
• a cozy nest on the couch
• Pedialyte for the wee ones
• BRAT diet on hand, just in case the "vom" moves south *wink wink*....(for those of you who don't know, the BRAT diet is used for kids with Diarrhea. It's Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, and Toast.  You're welcome)
• Bedside trash can
• an old priest
• a new priest

  So yeah, it's easier being prepared....

 

When it suddenly jumps out at you with no warning, all you can do is strip down the upset child, quickly scrounge up an altered list of the above needed supplies, and wait for the gross, inevitable things to come....

 I got her all cleaned up, and we moved to the couch to relax and snuggle.  After an hour or so I got an overwhelming urge to get her and Olive out into some fresh air. I felt like with the brewing cesspool inside my sinus cavities, and Lucy's new surprise tummy bug, that we should all get outside in the clean air and out of the petri dish that was our house...

..and our outside is boring...

 

...so naturally, I decided to take them to the Zoo...

 

...yeah, yeah, I now realize that may have been pushing her gastrointestinal limits...

 

So I foolishly asked Lucy if she felt good enough to go the Zoo....I should have known not to even ask this because as any parent knows, no child will EVER turn down the Zoo, even if they are sick beyond belief...

 

...I blame my copious amount of brain-crowding snot for impairing my judgment and rendering me  stupid enough to ask this question to a 3 year old...

Of course her little green face turned pink again and she shouted "YEAH YEAH THE ZOO!!!"

I instantly realized this may have been a bad idea.  My initial reasoning behind a zoo trip was to get them out in the fresh air and out of the germy house, and I had figured even if she did get sick again, at least she would get to see some animals while doing so.... I did however underestimate the long car ride there.  Needless to say, she swore up and down that her tummy was feeling better, so I foolishly listened, we went and picked up Emily to join us, and we started on our way to the Zoo.  The whole ride went smoothly. I thought for sure her sickly ways were merely a one time sour tummy, and were behind her...

...not two seconds after we pulled into the parking lot, I heard the awkward noise again...

*groan*

Strawberry Oatmeal made its encore appearance.

So I pulled off to a remote corner of the parking lot, stripped Lucy down to her unintentional, yet appropriately chosen zoo animal underpants, and handed her to Emily in the front seat while I hightailed it up the parking lot, through the gates, to the Zoo gift shop to purchase a new Quaker-free wardrobe.  Of course, as luck would have it, they didn't sell shorts or dresses of any kind..

.....No bottoms WHATSOEVER....

...oh, excuse me, they did sell sweatpants in size "SMALL" that are clearly made to accommodate those giant 3 year olds with glandular problems...

Ugh. 

So I settled on a tee shirt that was slightly oversized, long, cute, and I knew would end up making perfect PJ's after we returned home....

Thank goodness she is so cute..

Say CHEEEEEEESE!

 

 

And my other dumplin'...

 

 

The girls and Aunt Emily..

 

 

Lucy was thrilled with her new super cool Zoo t-shirt and her and her sister had a ball for the short time we were there.
I was halfway waiting to see some glaring looks from the other mothers, silently scolding me for bringing my child out in public in an oversized t-shirt, but then I realized that even if they did visually chastise me, they didn't know that we hadn't actually come dressed this way and that it was in fact an emergency wardrobe change.  I knew if I received one of these looks that I'd have to just let it go and ignore it....

.... I don't care what the other mothers think....

....my baby girl needed a little fresh air, so I took her to the Zoo.  I think that's pretty cool.


:) Ashley

P.S.  The Quaker oatmeal was in no way expired and did not cause Lucy's tummy trouble. Those packets were actually fairly new...it's just not as funny to say, "I carefully took some recently purchased Oatmeal from the pantry..."  You get the idea.