Handyman or Bust!

Happy Friday to you.

 

So, late last night, as I drove my 3 year old from gymnastics class to McDonalds for her regular post-gym class meal of nuggets and fries, the temperature gauge on my Jeep decided it was a perfect time to shoot up to red and start smoking...

 

 

...why on God's green Earth do cars always decide to do this when you are either in line at a fast food place, in the middle of a busy intersection, or at least a minimum of 30 miles from your house?...

 

...the machines are rising up...

 

 I quickly shoved the designated McCash into the heavily tattooed knuckles of the McDonalds employee, grabbed the Happy meal, and sped off before I became THAT lady who's car breaks down in the drive-thru lane like a clot in a heavily greased artery.  No one likes being in that situation.  It's right up there with annual exams and public speaking...

 

So I keep driving, begging and pleading with my car to at least make it to my best friend Emily's house, who was watching my other little one whilst me and my tiny gymnast were at class. 

 

We've all done that...you know, make deals with your car as if it's some almighty prayer-answering deity...

 

"Come on buddy! I know you can do it! We're almost there and then you can rest!"

 

"Please make it! I promise if you make it to the gas station I'll never push it this close again!"

 

"Come on buddy, if you make it home without blowing up in this heavily populated intersection, I swear I'll stop ignoring my oil change light and eating Taco Bell chalupas with one hand!"

 

Yeah, we've all been there.

 

So I made a few of these promises to my car and then immediately called my husband.  He told me he'd be there right away, but for now I had to turn on the heater and pull over, otherwise I'd burn out my head gasket...Sounded scary.  So, naturally I kept driving because I refused to be stuck on the side of a busy road, all the while making deals with the Devil, prayers to Jesus, bargaining with the car gods, and luckily I made it to Emily's without completely breaking down.

 

About 25 minutes later, my knight in shining pick-up truck showed up, giant trailer in tow.  He cranked a few levers, lowered the rampy thing on the trailer, and then backed the ailing Jeep right up the ramp and into the perfect position.   He backed the truck and trailer down to the bottom of the street into a small cul-de-sac so that he wouldn't be in anybody's way, and then proceeded to bust out his ratchet straps so that the Jeep was nice and secure and wouldn't roll into oncoming traffic... he's so thoughtful like that.

 

The girls and I hopped in the truck and we made our journey home through the back roads of Gretna since the truck's hookup for the trailer lights wasn't working.  After all, we didn't want to freak out other drivers and more importantly, we didn't want to get pulled over.  He maneuvered his way through the back roads gravel maze all the way home, never once missing a turn or a stop sign in the black of night, shifting gears when needed to account for pulling the heavy load up or down a hill, not to mention knowing right when to swerve to avoid giant mud holes from all the rain we had that morning.

 

If I had been driving, I would currently be posting this from my phone down in a ditch.

 

This morning he was up before all of us, flannel shirt on, coffee in hand, out working on the car. 

He went and bought some parts and anti-freeze before I even realized he had left, and before I knew it the Jeep was fixed. 

 

 

He gave me a quick insightful lecture on how the modern engine works, showed me where the pipes run, where the gaskets are, and what can happen when you don't listen to your husband in regards to engine trouble, and then slammed the hood and we were good to go. 

 

The moral of the story?

Make pancakes on the mornings that your husband needs to get up early to go fix something...

 

Oh, and marry a handy man
 Not just the kind of guy who can change the battery in the smoke alarm or a change a tire in under 2 hours and thinks he deserves a Nobel prize... no no. I'm talking a real, honest to goodness Brawny type who can fix it all, build it all, and be an awesome daddy and husband at the same time.  Here's a small list of requirements:

1. Change a tire in under 20 minutes.
2. Fix, or at least be able to diagnose, any and all things that go wrong with any kind of engine.
3. Hang a light fixture, flat screen tv or a ceiling fan.
4. Unclog the nastiest of drains
5. Unclog the nastiest of vacuums
6. Will go to the store just to buy tampons and a People magazine.
7. Pull a calf that's being born and not flinch at the grossness
8. Rope that calf a year later went its being stubborn and teenager-y
9. Change a poopy diaper in under 30 seconds
10. Have all the needed supplies for changing the oil in your car, on hand, at all times.
11. Can coordinate 4 shades of pink for his little girls outfit and top it off with a perfect pony tail.
12. Can drive a stick better than most of us drive automatics
13. Can build a house
14. Always carries an extra pacifier in his pocket, just in case.
15. Will watch a Meryl Streep movie with you, no questions asked.
16. Puts a piece of duct tape over a nasty cut he got.
17. Will eat any food you put in front of him and will act like it's the best thing he's ever had.
18. Drops you off at the door before parking, raining or not.
19. Will teach his children how to drive a truck when they are still toddlers
20. makes blankie forts
21. Can carry two children at a time so they don't escape from Sam's Club

 

 

 

 



He's a good egg.

Ladies, if you can find a man like this, then make your mark and never let him go. A man like this is an asset and a real benefit to have around, and I for one think that if you are married to a Brawny McFixIt type, then your homeowners and car insurance premiums should be discounted.

He will always be there when you need him, he won't ever let you down, he doesn't complain about a little hard work, he's always appreciative and supportive, and his little girls will grow up expecting no less from any man who tries to pursue them.

 

:) Ashley



 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

For the love of coffee...and Pottery Barn

Good Morning.

To say I'm exhausted, is an understatement....

 My littlest dumplin' decided to have a yucky tummy last night and was throwing up until midnight....once on my pillow after I lovingly moved her to our bed...that's what I get I guess.

Needless to say, after stripping sheets thrice, giving her a bath twice, and getting yacked on once, I am a tired lady.

Once her tummy settled and she fell asleep, I attempted to readjust myself into a semi-bearable position, but it was to no avail.  It's hard enough falling asleep when trying to teeter on a 9 inch space on the edge of the bed, but when your baby is soundly nestled face first into your back, you just don't sleep that well. You can't move backwards because you'll crush her, and you can't scoot forward otherwise you'll plummet off the cliff that is your bed and you will inevitably smack your face on the edge of your nightstand...so you just stay put.

So, yeah. I'm sleepy.

So while I'm waiting for my coffee to kick in, I have a confession to make...

 

It's one I'm not proud of, and I should really seek help or at least attempt to changes my ways...

 

.... but I'm weak...

 

Now as you all know, with the exception of several items or features in our home that really shouldn't be skimped on (good flooring, decent cabinetry, energy efficient windows, roof shingles that won't just melt away at the first sign of precipitation, etc)  this Farmhouse of ours, is for the most part, a highly budgeted venture.  We knew going into it that if we wanted the picturesque, perfect country package, ie. a larger home on an acreage with a herd of cattle, a couple handsome horses, and a slew of fat chickens with grandma names, then we were going to have to pinch pennies and do a lot of the work ourselves in order to keep our overall costs down. 

 

We aren't afraid to get our hands dirty, pound nails, pull wire, install fireplaces (fingers crossed that was done correctly), put up porches, paint everything in sight, lay all the flooring, dig 6 foot deep footing holes that I may, or may not have dropped one leg down in to when I wasn't paying attention (my hip still clicks from that),  install fixtures of all kinds, caulk EVERY. STINKIN'. NOOK. and CRANNY, cut and put up insulation, run water lines etc etc etc...

 

...yeah, we do a lot. Ok, mainly my husband, but I'm taking half credit. It was after all in the vows...what's yours is mine right? Anyways, I have to say, its paying off. We done good.... that is until my dirty little habit decides to make an appearance and threatens all our scrimping and saving and hard work....

 

...why you ask, would this happen? Two words...

 

 

POTTERY BARN.

 

 

I love Pottery Barn.  No other store, with the exception of Target and the cheese counter at Whole Foods, can better sum up my taste.  It's just all so beautiful.  Its classy, and clean, with a touch of rustic, a pinch of country, a dash of vintage, and a big ole' handful of luxury. 

 

...I bet Meryl Streep and Diane Keaton shop there...

 

 If I had a million dollars, I'd blow it all at Pottery Barn.

 

....and the cheese section at Whole Foods...

 

...and the clearance shelves at Target....

Scored these little cuties a week or so ago le Target'.... I'm thinking salt and pepper bowls or maybe little tiny flower pots to perch on the kitchen sink window sill...

 

Cute huh? I thought so too.

 

But alas... I do not have a million dollars, so therefore I am forced to keep my home related purchases confined to Craigslist, work trades, Big Lots and Nebraska Furniture Mart holiday sales.

 

But yesterday, I cheated:)

 

I'm so bad.

I had some errands to run and, well, you know how sometimes you're driving and you suddenly realize that you can't really recall any details of the last 5-10 minutes of your journey?  Well that happened to me, except when I finally came to, I was parked in front of the Barn....

 

...it was kind of like when Clark Griswold comes across the perfect tree in the woods in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation and its glowing in front of him like a beacon of hope...

 

...yes, the storefront was glowing...
....although it could have just been a reflection off my windshield, but still...

 

I got out of my car and walked in.  The whole place had that "well decorated" smell and was festively made over for Halloween.  There's just something about a farmhouse table overhauled with mercury glass pumpkins, spider web bowls and black skull candle holders that makes a person feel like their home.

 

I walked around the store in a euphoric haze for a good half hour just running my fingers along pillows, carefully fondling cups and trinkets, and flipping through the big rugs that hang on the wall....

...I may have touched my cheek to one when the sales lady wasn't looking...

 

I want this one...

 

 

This is the Brandon Persian style rug from Pottery Barn.  I absolutely LOVE this rug.  I have actually been cyber stalking it for over a year now, but unfortunately, a bag of money hasn't fallen into my lap yet, so I haven't been able to purchase it....  if you are as in love with it as I am, and you happen to have the dough, well good for you fancy pants... you can buy it here. 

 

...if only Pottery Barn accepted Bittersweet Bakery gift cards as payment...

 

Even on sale...

 

 

EEEK. 

 

So, after shedding a few tears, and saying my goodbyes to Brandon, I moved on. Here are a few other delicious little morsels that I must have...one day.

 

Some lovely, cottagey dishes...they are actually quite a bit more turquoise in person. Beautiful.

 

Want the dishes? Click here.

And how about these adorable, stackable salt-pepper-spice dishes?! I know right?! 

 

Get 'em here.

And then there are these pretty little, buttery yellow teacups with saucers.  This color is actually one of the accent colors I planned to have on my open shelving in the kitchen, so, naturally I wanted them.  I already have a wide array of plates and dishes that my mom gave to me, but as I collect coffee cups, and this particular color was ON SALE!!  I felt the need to snatch up 3 sets... I like things in odd numbers... don't know why.

 

 

So, for $21, I am now the proud owner of 3 yellow Emma teacups and matching saucers.  I picture sitting at my farmhouse table with my mom and grandmother some day soon, each of us having a cup of tea or coffee, just chatting....maybe about these lovely little cups.

 



  Grab a couple for yourself here.

 

So that is the story of my love affair with Pottery Barn.

 

One day I hope to recreate the shopping scene in Pretty Woman, except in Pottery barn...

 

...and yes, I will order a pizza...

 

 Until that day comes, I'll just continue to lurk around, smelling pillows and rubbing my cheeks on the rugs when no one is looking...

 

 

:) Ashley

 

 



 

 

 



Wood? Stone? What would Ryan Gosling choose?

Soooo... I'm at a crossroads. 

 

I know, it's shocking.

 

We are attempting to button up our final big purchases for the Farmhouse in order to see where we stand budget-wise, and while I've decided to leave the bidding of drywall help and heating and air costs to my husband, I have decided to take on the daunting task of finding Martha's Vineyard worthy countertops on a Boone's Farm budget...

 

..hmmm...maybe I should plant vines at the Farmhouse....

 

...I do love wine....

 

...Excuse me while I Google the labor involved in starting my own winery...

 

Ok, well, it's officially in my 5 year plan, along with learning French, finishing all seasons of Breaking Bad, and reading the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica...

...I mean honestly, how cool would it be to be able to say you read every, single one of those massive things!? I know right?!  My brain would be like a never ending Mensa meeting...

*crickets*

I guess it's just me.

 

Anyways, countertops. 
So I have narrowed it down to two options...
 

1.  Quartz countertops in a very light, creamy beige color. These lovely countertops are a pretty solid shade throughout without much variation, as well as tiny glimmery flecks all over. Clean, fresh, a little bit sexy because of the little shimmers, but also neutral enough that it meshes well with all kinds of materials that may be added to the kitchen.  These countertops, are the more expensive option, but they will be cut and installed for us. They hale from good ole' Lowes.

 

 

 

-OR-

 

2.  Dark walnut butcher block countertops.  A more "old world" look.  Dark and medium ribbons of rich wood tones running together like a herd of wild mustangs across the plains...

...you like that? :)...see how I just made wood countertops seem wild and uninhibited?...
...oh yeah, literary genius at its best...

Anyhoo, these countertops would create a beautiful, classic country look.  At the same time it has just enough "fancy", that pairing it with a wall of simply decorated open shelving with white dishes won't make the kitchen as a whole look too plain.  This is the cheaper option but we would have to cut and finish these ourselves. These are from Lumber Liquidators.

....ah Lumber Liquidators...

...it has the same effect on my youngest's bum as Lowe's does. I don't know what it is about any kind of home improvement store, but every time we go into these places (which is more often that I care to admit) my littlest decides now is a good time to poop....  needless to say, we have become very familiar with the route to the Lumber Liquidators restrooms... back through the warehouse, around the mountains of wood and forklifts, past the life-size cutout of a LL employee that scares the poo out of me Every. Single. Time...

.... it's a cruel, yet convenient irony really...

Anyways..

 

 Both options would be very lovely, but seriously, they are so different it's like being forced to choose between Ryan Gosling in "Crazy, Stupid, Love"...

 or Ryan Gosling in "the Notebook"...

 

How IS a girl to choose...?!

I mean, one of them is pretty and shiny and can take the heat, and the other is rugged and old fashioned and I get to rub it down with oil on a regular basis...

It's maddening.

Maybe additional info will help the decision-making move along...

Our floors will be a dark, hand-scraped, style like this.

 

And our kitchen cabinets are Kraftmaid in the color "Mushroom".

 

They are the lighter of the two colors pictured here (not the green)... kind of a very light taupey color that I thought was very pretty and light, but a nice, subtle change from the typical white or off-white....

 

...Plus I love mushrooms, so it only made sense that I pick this color.

 

So there you have it folks.  My dilemma for the week.

 

 Light, shiny, slightly shimmery countertops that hold up better to heat, stains and germs for more money?

 

-OR-

 

Dark, old wordly, multi-tonal, wood countertops that I can't really set hot pots or drippy red wine glasses on, but that cost a fraction of the price and are still lovely???

 

I guess I better go watch Crazy Stupid Love, then Notebook to help me decide...

 

It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it.

 

Off I go..

 

:) Ashley

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fried Green Tomatoes and Homemade Potato Soup

 

Hello friend. 

 

I've been a bit busy the past couple days so I haven't had the time to enlighten you with one of my many dilemmas, feats of awesomeness, or cautionary tales of failure....

 

...don't worry, I'm locked and loaded today :)

 

Anyways...

 

So it rained quite a bit last night and now the area around the Farmhouse resembles a muddy, sloppy feedlot, except without the cows... and all the poop.  We went out to attempt productivity, more specifically getting the fireplace and hearth framed in, but we got stuck in the mud.  Literally. Couldn't get up to the house... We did eventually get out of the rut we created, but it wasn't easy....

 

...Imagine if you will, my husband and I, in his big white work van, tires spinning, mud flying, husband yelling "WOOOOOHOOOO!!!!!" like a cackling, crazy, redneck thrill seeker, and me, white-knuckling the arm rests yelling "THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE!"...

 

 ....it had a very Dukes of Hazard-esque quality about the moment... except we didn't move an inch. 

 

At that point we decided to call in a loss for the day as far as work on the house goes and figured we would go get some needed supplies for the week ahead, instead.  We gave it one more good attempt to escape the mud pit, and luckily we prevailed, although once the tires finally caught traction we did almost slingshot ourselves straight into the giant pit that is to be the future home of the septic tank...

 

....it was almost a 127 Hours kind of situation people...

 

We did make it out alive, however, so we made our 473rd trip to Menards, got our supplies, and decided to head home to take it easy for the rest of the day. Because of the cool, Fall-ish weather, my inner Martha was really clawing to get out, so I figured it was a perfect day for either chili or potato soup.  Since I had ALL of the ingredients for chili, naturally I decided to make the Potato soup. I swung by the store to grab what I lacked in my pantry, and headed back home to start celebrating our "windows down and feet up" kind of day. 

 

...Oh, and as if the promise of homemade potato soup wasn't enough to send me into a state of sublime, "stupid smile on my face" kind of happiness, my husband suddenly yelled from the living room those 8 beautiful words that any woman would want to hear to make her perfect, lazy day even more exquisite...

 

"SWEET! Hey Babe! Fried Green Tomatoes is on!"

 

*queue the big stupid grin, tear in my eye, and thumbs up to God*

 

TAWANDA!!!!

 

...If you are under 25 years old, you may not now what I'm talking about, but please, for the love of all that's good and pure in this world, get on Netflix and rent "Fried Green Tomatoes".  You'll thank me.  Here's a few more "must see" flicks on my list of "Autumn Day/Rainy Day" movies:

 

1. It's Complicated

2. Mystic Pizza

3. Ratatouille

4. Drive

5.  Pretty Woman (duh)

6. Sleepless in Seattle

7. Joe vs. the Volcano

8. Thelma and Louise

9. Waiting

10. Midnight in Paris

11. The Burbs

12. Father of the Bride (both of them)

13. Return to Oz

14. True Romance

15. Zombieland

16. Romeo and Juliet

17. Aliens

18. Grown Ups

19. Breakfast Club

 

There you have it folks, a miniscule percentage of my favorite movies to watch whilst chillin' on the couch with sweatpants and soup.

 

You're Welcome.

 

And here's how you make the dang soup...  Oh, did I mention I made fresh baked bread bowls for the soup? Oh yeah. I'm pretty impressive like that.

 

Homemade Bread Bowls and Creamy Potato Soup

 

For the Soup:

15-20 small yellow potatoes cut into dice size

1 small yellow onion finely diced

4 chicken boullion cubes

4 cups water

1 cup half n' half

1 tbsp. black pepper

1 tbsp. dried chives

1 tbsp dried parsley

2 tsp salt

1 tsp garlic powder

5 tbsp. butter

5 tbsp flour

 

For Topping:

4 strips bacon crisped up and cut up

a couple cups of shredded cheese of your choice...i'm gonna use Colby jack

1/2 cup diced up green onion

 

For the Bread Bowls:

4 cups bread flour

1 egg

4 tbsp. softened butter

1 tsp salt

1 packet instant yeast

1 1/2 cups warm water

 

 

1. Start with the bread.  Get your stuff together.

 

 

2. Get a big glass bowl, and mix together all your dry ingredients with your fingers. Then add in the wet stuff and get to mixing.  It's gonna get sticky and messy, but it will come together...

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Knead it as best you can in the bowl and then turn it out onto a floured surface and continue workin' it. Press the heal of your hand down and away from you into the dough, fold it over, and repeat, turning the dough ball a quarter turn each time. If you need to add a little flour until it stops sticking go ahead. Keep kneading...

 

 

4.  Once your dough ball is smooth and well formed, get your glass bowl, clean it out, and then butter the bowl so that it's nice and stick-proof...

 

 

...then put your dough in, flip it once so it's coated then cover with plastic wrap.

 

 

Now put it in a warm place to rise for a little while.  I preheat my oven for about 3 minutes just to get it warm, then put the bowl in there. Make sure ITS JUST WARM...otherwise you're done for.

 

 

Now for the Soup...

 

1. Get your stuff together...

 

 

(potatoes are in the background. shy little buggers)

 

2. Dice up your onion and potatoes, then put your butter in a big pot over medium heat, add in your chopped onion and taters, and stir it up to coat...

 

 

3.  Let them sweat for a few minutes, then sprinkle 5 tbsp of flour down over the veggies and stir it up...

 

 

 

4. Pour in your water, chicken cubes, half n' half, and basically all the other ingredients except the bacon bits, green onions and cheese...

 

 

Let it simmer on low heat for about 30 minutes until potatoes are tender and the soup has thickened a bit.  If you like your soup a bit thicker, you can sprinkle in a couple more tbsp of flour and simmer a while longer.

 

Take off heat and set it aside to cool for a while. You will need to reheat a little later after you have finished up your bread bowls and they have baked and cooled a little as well.

 

...remember a while back when I told you I like the fussy recipes? yeah, wasn't lying...

 

Back to the dough. 

 

 If it's been about an hour or so, it should look like this...

 

 

1. Take off the plastic wrap, and punch the dough down, then fold it over and press and fold it over and press again.  Like this...

 

 

2.  Now grab a couple cookie sheets and either line with foil and spray with nonstick spray, or if you are unprepared and have been out of foil for a few weeks now like me, bust out corn meal from the back of the pantry and sprinkle it on the cookie sheet.  Cut your dough into four equal pieces and knead into a smooth ball.  Hold the dough ball as if you are a grandmother holding the ears of her grandchild like she would if she wanted to give them a big ole grandma kiss... then press the dough together while somewhat squeezing the dough out and towards you....kind of like a stress ball.

 

 

 

Pinch the seams together under the ball and place seam side down onto cookie sheet. 

 

3. Repeat three more times and them back in oven for their second rise.

 

 

 

4 Once they have doubled in size, take them out of the oven and preheat the oven to 375.

 

 

5.  In a small bowl, crack and egg and empty just the whites into bowl. Add a dribble of water and fork it up...

 

 

 

...then gently brush the egg whites onto the top of each dough ball.  Don't press hard or you will deflate the dough....

 

 

 

 

7. Bake for about 25-30 minutes or until the tops of each dough ball are golden brown. You can also check for done-ness by taking a hot pad, flipping the baked bread onto the pad and tap the bottom of the bread. If it feels firm and the it sounds hollow when you tap, your golden.

 

 

 

Let them cool for about 15 minutes or until they are cool enough to handle. Cut the tops off while also pulling the center of the bread bowl out.  Set them aside for dipping :)  No carbs wasted in this house!

 

 

While the bread bowls are cooling, cook up your bacon bits until crispy, cut up the green onions and shred your cheese.

 

 

 

 

Ok! Time to assemble.

 

Take your hollowed out bread bowl, ladle in your soup, sprinkle on your cheese, then bacon and green onions, serve.

 

 

BOOM.

 

 

It's loved by tiny dumplins...

 

 

 

...and loved VERY MUCH by Farmhouse builders...

 

 

 

I must tell you, he is currently sprawled out on the floor, hat over his eyes, in a food coma....groaning....

 

...I'm not even going to warn him that his youngest dumplin' is about to channel her inner Randy Savage and throw herself on top of his overstuffed self ...

 

Hehehe.

 

 

Have a good night :)

 

:) Ashley